Obituary of Thomas Soh

Thomas Sze-Sing Soh Generous, Devoted and Loving Husband, Father, Brother and Friend to All April 14, 1938 – January 25, 2016 Thomas Sze-Sing Soh (also fondly known to all as “Xiao Su”) was born in Bruges, Belgium where his parents were getting their Ph.D. Degrees at University of Bruges. When Japan started to invade China, the family moved back to China to support their homeland. Tom’s early days were spent in Zhejiang Province near Shanghai where the Soh family had lived for generations. Xiao Su was the second oldest of six children (four boys and two girls). An entrepreneurial family deeply entrenched in Shanghai business and politics, they fled to Hong Kong when the Communist Party took over China. They had been held under house arrest by the government in Shanghai. Ultimately, they made their way from Hong Kong to Taipei, Taiwan and reestablished roots. Tom was a modern day Renaissance man, whose curiosity for information and widespread talents which span multiple fields, led him to have the reputation of “Walking Encyclopedia” and “Mr. Fix-It.” His photographic memory certainly helped as well, which enabled him to skip several grades, and he still never failed to get straight A’s in school. He earned his Bachelors degree at Zhengzhi University in Taiwan where he majored in English Literature and received a Masters of Science degree in Organic Chemistry from Kansas State University here in the United States. While studying at KSU, Xiao Su held down several jobs simultaneously. Despite being an esteemed scientist, he believed in the importance of humility and great work ethic, so he spent time driving 16 wheelers across country, working on farms to learn about taking care of animals, as well as cooking (a personal passion of his) in Chinese restaurants. Upon graduation, he moved to NYC and started working as a research chemist at Rockefeller University. Tom was always generous and helpful to everyone, and it was in helping a friend move that he met his future love and companion for life, Marguerite. They were actually roommates. On October 9, 1965, Marguerite and Thomas married at Riverside Church in NY. He was ecstatic and often said he was the luckiest man in the world. After the birth of his daughter Susan in 1969, and his son Arvin in 1972, he vowed to provide them with a better life. He believed in the importance of education, and esteemed the Ivy League, therefore he abandoned his career in science to do something more entrepreneurial to better ensure he could send his kids to prestigious private universities in the United States. It was through his love, hard work and personal sacrifice that they were able to attend Yale, Harvard Law School, Cornell and Wharton Business School. Tom was very talented in sculpting animated characters during his very early years. Throughout his youth, he excelled and loved the outdoor sports of hunting, fishing, and hiking. During his retirement years, besides traveling with family and friends, he became an avid gardener, landscaper and a nature lover. Not only did he personally design the landscape for his very large yard, he did all the planting of trees and flowers by himself. He would spend hours upon hours just working on his yard and then would quietly suffer from his soreness and not say a word. He said it was great exercise, and it brought him much peace and happiness. When he still had his health, he also frequently took hikes and long walks with his wife at the local parks and reservations near their home in Green Brook, NJ. Tom was passionate about his wife, children and his 6 grandkids (5 boys and one girl) and every weekend, would drive hours just to see his grandkids in Hoboken and NYC despite his failing health and the weakness/extreme tiredness from all his chemo/radiation therapy treatments. This passion did not stop there however. He loved his many friends in the NJ community and in particular, loved his brothers dearly. They were fondly known as the SOH BROTHERS with a shared love for food and all you can eat buffets! They were a force to be reckoned with and restaurants would quake when they saw them coming. He particularly enjoyed visiting Florida each year where his brother Sam lived and looked forward to family reunions with Sam, Francois and Peter. Tom and Marguerite had an active social life filled with nights of karaoke and dancing with all their numerous friends who were great company. He particularly enjoyed when he was the host, and he became well known for producing large feasts of delicious Chinese dishes for 50 (even if there were only 20 people!). He believed one should always be generous and no guest should ever leave hungry. Sadly, he went out less and hosted less frequently as his fight with cancer became too difficult to bear. He said to his family, “Home is best” and spent much of his last year home with his loved ones or at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital surrounded by family. On January 25, 2017, our dear husband, father, brother and friend, lost his battle to cancer but he was able to spend his last day at his daughter’s home in Short Hills which was his final wish. He wanted to be home. Tom is survived by his wife of 52 years, Marguerite, and two children Susan and Arvin and their spouses, Eddie and Rhodora; three brothers, Sam, Francois and Peter and their spouses, Esabella, Shirley and Angie, and 6 amazing grandchildren, Joshua, Noah, Jaiden, Kai, Chloe and Lucas. We were all extremely blessed to have had such a wonderful husband, brother and father in our lives.